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Cherlisa Jackson

Allow Yourself to be Courted


Remind me that I stay on your mind! Don't just drop in on my life; be my demolition! Knock down old fears, rebuild it with serenity! Prove to me that I'm safe with your soul! Make me remember your existence!

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I believe heavily in the power of love. I believe it exists for everyone and can actually flourish as a healthy thing if two people remain whole, patient in the beginning stages to get to know each other, willing to reveal behind the mask, and be honest about the level of commitment invested or desired. Passion is now missing. People are so sexually involved before trust occurs, and people are quick to exercise options as if nothing was ever invested. The problem is our new-age thinking; instant results and frustration when people do not automatically "get" our needs. Chemistry without deep-rooted work is amazing and very rare but it does not minimize relationships that struggle through hardships and fight together as a team...fully believing in why there was even a first kiss in the first place. Love IS about possibility and when that fire burns out, someone has quit believing, or finally saw that the person never had the actuality of loving completely. Nevertheless, love is a very real thing.

Believe in the romance of love, and that patience in sex and passion can yield the right guy. There is nothing saying that waiting for love and sex cannot attract the wrong guy, but when you make a choice to hold out when dating a guy in hopes of finding something worthy of your love and sex, you scare away a lot of unfit relationships. When you force a guy to pursue you, you ask him to channel the drive inside him to show you that he actually wants you. Not just your sex or an occasional text message, but you are sending the message to him that you require more work. The right guy will accept the challenge, and the best guy will win you over. The wrong guy will decide you are too much work. We often chase after that wrong guy because we sense he losing interest. We make special effort for the wrong man and end up hurt in the end knowing that we did not allow ourselves to be shown.

Showing consideration is not just a few dinners and dates, it is about consistency. The right man will never have you guessing if he wants you romantically because his actions will show you and his words will align with that. Do not force titles out of a man just because you want it to happen with him. If and when he sees you romantically, it will not take numerous years to address this; he will advise you are his primary and sole choice for a relationship. His actions will win your over.

But don't stop there! Once a man wins you over, you continue to be courted so he does not take you for granted! Keep him by allowing him to chase you with the possibility of catching you; this will keep him on his toes for effort towards remaining romantically involved.


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