SEXUAL HEALTH EDUCATION, ESTEEM, & RELATIONSHIPS, LLC

Atlanta, GA, USA

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©2016-2020 S.H.E.E.R., LLC.

WEBSITE CREATED BY CHERLISA JACKSON

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  • Cherlisa Jackson

Do You Play The Victim?


Choose to be a victim of circumstance, blaming everyone for every thing, or choose to accept your role in stubbornness and procrastination of improvement.

I have a long history of being bullied in middle school, high school, undergrad, and in my work setting. I have a laundry list of failures, including relationships, friendships, jobs, and projects. I have had some very ruthless and very fictional things said about me for over 20 years. I used to become so wrapped up in the action of anyone having the audacity to allow sharp words about me to even be spoken, failing to acknowledge that most of it stemmed from jealousy or misunderstanding. I was an easy target for bullying; I stayed to myself, had no clue I was even attractive but others pursued me, was a Tomboy with tons of male friends I was never sexually active with, and females that liked those same males could not stand it!

I used to allow myself to become victimized by my circumstances, blaming others and making excuses. One day, I realized that many of these people are nowhere involved in my life anymore but I still give them power to guide my decisions. I also realized that no one can force me to feel or react to anything but myself, period. I served no good to myself or others always having something I could never "get over" or forget because of the hurt I was put through in my past.

Even with failed relationships requires that I choose not to play the victim of the circumstance. I could blame others for my pitfalls or take responsibility to do better. At some point we were either not compatible or I ignored red flags; both outcomes are not to produce blaming behaviors.

So now, I choose to be better than any old and misguided version of me. I refuse to use the excuse of being human for why I repeat mistakes. I accept my direct role in my own life. I choose to admit when I'm wrong and I choose to improve to make it right.

I always speak from a standpoint of what I've actually experienced that did NOT prove successful in my life. Even as a therapist, I still do not believe in giving advice without having taken my own and learned through it, firsthand. Besides, a person will learn more from my mistakes advising what not to do rather than my suggestions advising exactly what to do.

Never stop improving! You have the power to change your life!