We tend to write off some very teachable people because they do not automatically blow us away sexually or appear like they can. Great sex can help you ignore really bad choices in people. You can actually miss out on a really good match if you focus too much on a requirement of automatic sexual chemistry. Of course, never settle for being unsatisfied, just re-evaluate what "bad sex" means...remember that intimacy is NOT just about the act of sex; the right person can always be trained. This is where "good to you" is not always "good for you" ...Though frustrating, it is often beneficial to coach a person sexually who is good FOR you, especially if also good TO you.
Physical attraction is extremely important in a relationship. Do not confuse this lustful desires, or feeling shallow because you need someone attractive. It is not important that the sexual contact be mind-blowing, to the point where you are insatiably drawn to never want to leave the bedroom. It is not important that your partner be so gorgeous that everyone else is burning with envy. Both of these are flattering, and a bonus at most, but not a requirement for sexual connection. What matters is that the two of you find each other attractive; attractive enough to want to engage in a sexual connection.
Having sex is not a connection, and having soft sex and romance is not the only way to build a sexual connection. Sexual connection is completely about body chemistry. They ways in which your bodies speak when you are both with each other, and send messages to each other in absence. Sexual connection is reaching deep into the root of desires, fantasies, and needs, and pulling out a natural willingness to fulfill them, and repeat, as needed. Sexual connection consists of the level of intensity both partners feel involve a climactic passion, built on trust and patience, verbal communication and non-verbal communication. Sexual connection could be found through mental stimulation, rough sex, foreplay, or spiritual energies bonding. The point is that sexual connection does not look the same for everyone, and entering into a sexual connection with the belief that physical touch and orgasms are all it takes to qualify someone as a supreme lover, think again. Experience again.